All mothers are working mothers. ~Author Unknown
As I begin this Mother’s Day blog post, I just want to take a moment and tell the world how blessed I am at this particular moment. This is not meant to brag or boast; it is my way of living in the moment and appreciating what life has given me.
This weekend I spent time with an amazing group of people that I get to call My Family. They have raised me, shaped me, inspired me, motivated me, and taught me about life through their example. This particular time period, I chose to take a closer look at the mother-child relationships that were around me. Each one carries a unique bond.
Mothers and daughters, whether young or old, share a common thread—being a female. Mothers know they need to raise a daughter who can be an independent thinker, self-supporting, and compassionate. The days of “finding a husband” to make her daughter complete are long gone. Women can be successful on their own merit. A mother is the first person to show her daughter a woman’s worth.
Mothers and sons are unique in that they are the opposite gender. However, a mother raises her son to be the type of man that she would like to see in the world. Being a self-assured problem solver with good communication skills is high on the list, so that a son can provide for himself and his future family. In addition, mothers want their sons to be loving, supportive, kindhearted, and open-minded. A mother is the first person to show her son how a woman wants to be treated.
Ultimately, motherhood is about giving. Many mothers begin the process at birth. Mothers “give birth” to a child. For some, sadly, the process of motherhood may end there. For some, it may begin months or years later. Whenever it begins or ends, I truly believe that once a mother, always a mother. When describing mothers, I purposely did not put the word “love” below because I feel that it would be stating the obvious. As I thought about Mother’s Day, the question Who is celebrated today? came to mind. I’ve listed below the simplest explanation of various mothers.
The one who gives birth
The one who will never forget feeling her baby’s movements, hearing the heartbeat, and watching her body physically change in order to prepare for the miracle of life
The one who raises a birth mother’s child as her own
The one who knows that no matter what circumstances the birth mother was in, she is grateful for her decision to give birth to this child who has now become her own
The one who marries the father of the birth mother’s child and raises or helps raise the child
The one who will co-parent and share parenting responsibilities with 1-3 other people, depending on the circumstances, sometimes without the ability to express her true opinions about the situation
The one who will at times be the liaison between the birth parents
Like a Mother:
The one who raises or helps raise the birth mother’s child, with or without any specific ties to the birth parents
The one who sees a wounded child and sees the need for stability and guidance
The one who physically loses a child
The one who gives birth to a stillborn but is often forgotten (or not seen as a mother) in society
The one who never got the chance to see her child’s milestones
The one who watches other mothers on a daily basis and wonders What if?
The one who is not present in her child’s life—voluntarily or involuntarily
The one who remembers exactly what her child’s face looked like that last time
The one who deep down knows that her child is in a better living situation
When you are a mother, you are never really alone in our thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. ~Sophia Loren
So, which mother is the best? Is it the one who raises her own? Is it the one who adopts and loves a child that was birthed by another? Is it the one who marries into motherhood? Is it the one who raises a child in need? Is it the one who loved and lost? Is it the one who knows that she is unable to give her child a good life? Or is it all of them?
[A] mother is one to whom you hurry when you are troubled. ~Emily Dickinson
This takes me back to my own life. I am a daughter with an exceptional mother who leads by example and is loved by all who know her. I am a granddaughter who has had two incredible grandmothers that influenced the woman that I am today. I am an aunt to several nieces and nephews who are being raised by amazing mothers who show them everyday what unconditional love and support are. Lastly, I am a mother. The birth of my son Damien gave me the title of Mom. To try to describe the depth of my love for him is impossible. My love for him is immeasurable. I don’t know how different my life would be if I was never a mother. I do know though, that I will never have to find out. Once a mother, always a mother.